Christmas is a Time for Giving and Kissing
by AnotherBlueScript
Summary: Jack groaned; Ianto had an incredibly good memory. "That's 11 men and 7 women now, sir. One more and you'll have a dozen." Fluffy Christmas banter! Have a Merry one! Warnings: language and suggestiveness- it's Torchwood, what did you expect?


**A/N Inspired by and experience I had today :)**

Jack ran with a lollop and flailing arms; he was feeling out of breath for the first time in years. This Weevil was dammed fast. And the speedy bugger was running thought Cardiff's late-night-Christmas-shopping streets.

Jack tapped his earpiece, "Ianto," he rasped thinking about how when Ianto's name usually sounded so strained it was under fierce pleasure rather that fierce exhaustion, "we are.. gonna need Retcon.. the Welsh can be so observant when it is.. inappropriate to be so."

"I'm on it, and to inform you, sir, we Welsh are always observant."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know.." he panted, "oh fuc-" the comm link was abruptly cut off and Ianto heard Jack skid to a sharp halt.

"Jack? Jack?" he called, "Jack?" no reply, Ianto sighed, "Always has to be so dramatic."

On Jack's end the situation was going lopsided. One of those happy-as-larry-but-I'm-in-the-fucking-freezing-weather-so-sign-my-bloody-petition-charity-men had jumped directly in his way.

"Hello there! If you could spare a moment so I could talk to you about-"

"Look," Jack commanded the man's attention, "I am running, I am out of breath, I am chasing a Weevil and I am holding a syringe which I am trying to load as I run. My ear is glowing blue because my boyfriend, who I possibly don't have the right to call that seeing as I killed his girlfriend, is freaking out because I cut of my communications with him half way through a curse because you came charging into me. I have been in Cardiff for so many years but you little _CARDIFFIANS_(!)still manage to find the lack of respect and recognition to get in my way while I save your planet from sewer monsters! Now kindly move outta my way!"

Jack pushed the shocked boy aside and tried to stride away when he heard: "So are you the kinda guy that doesn't have enough time to stop our homophobic council from closing the best gay bar in Cardiff? Because I swear that I saw you there not that long ago, but perhaps you aren't adventurous enough…"

Jack spun around, "say that again?" he growled.

"Every gay street has a Babylon, yeah? We'll they're closing ours. We don't even get a Christmas farewell and there is a straight bar just down the road that noone uses by hey! it is as straight bar; no one gives a fuck. Help us."

"Your little categories are so…queer! Do you know that?"

"I'm not the one that said they should close it. I'm gay and proud."

"Yeah, but your only that way because you have to be. In this century you are either gay and proud or a closet gay. Where I come from… It's different."

"And just where _do_ you come from, because you accent suggests America but the place you are describing certainly isn't there."

"I come from far away."

"Well, wherever you come from, that's what we are fighting for. Equality. True equality."

"Right well, go you!" Jack grinned pusing his fist in the air, about to run after the Weevil that he had lost sight of.

"Wait! You gave me all that conversation for nothing! You need to sign the petition!"

"I have to go. _Really._"

The man looked desperate. Jack wondered if it was that he honestly wanted as many names as possible on his sheet or that he just wanted Jack. The Captain liked to think it was the latter and, if he were honest, had the experience to back up this assumption.

"Okay, bye bye." Jack flashed a cheeky grin and had his back turned when the man called after him.

"I'll kiss you if you sign!"

Jack shook his head to himself in wonder. _You're just that attractive,_ he smirked to himself.

Striding towards the man again and saying, "Why did you not say so!" Jack crushed their lips together.

After a kiss that left the man's lips tingling Jack signed his petition, "You're name is Owen Harper? You are a Doctor?" the man looked shocked.

Jack shrugged, "I'm whatever you want me to be, honey." He winked.

When he walked away for the final time Jack re-tapped his comm. "Ianntoo."

"Ah, Jack, back with us, are you?"

"Yeah, there is this one guy we need to retcon."

"Have an interesting encounter, did you?"

"Uh… yeah.." Jack replied, the glint in Ianto's voice that was the tell-tale sign that Ianto knew Jack had misbehaved causing him to feel a wave of unease.

"Is there anything you want to tell me, Jack?" Ianto tried to keep the humour out of his voice but a trace still remained.

"Um.. no.. Ianto what have I done?"

"You know there are CCTV camera's all over Cardiff?"

"Yes?"

"Well when runs as you do-"

"Which is how?"

"In a very camp manor, sir." Ianto grinned, "it is not hard to track him down. May I ask a question sir?"

"Yes, you may."

"Do you often feel the need to charge at strangers and kiss them senseless?"

Jack groaned, "Ianto, I…"

"All I have to say on the matter is that, sir, I believe your taste in good looks has gone down."

"Bit modest of you, is it not Ianto?"

"Oh no, Jack. I was not comparing him to me, I was comparing him to the last man you charged at and snogged."

Jack groaned again; Ianto had an incredibly good memory.

"That's 11 men and 7 women now, sir. One more and you'll have a dozen."

His laugh was a chuckle that reverberate in Jack's ear. All he could think about was how he would be punishing Ianto later… Oh yes, he'd punish him.

**Merry Christmas! :D**


End file.
